Orgasm Denial Update

Only a few days ago I wrote a post on why I wanted Orgasm Control/Denial. Well I got it, and I did not in anyway expect it so soon. I talked to my Husband, sent him what I wrote on here and let him have a think about it. He loved the idea and now here we are.

I am... Technically two days in. It has been three but on the first time I failed and had an orgasm by mistake. It was a failed orgasm though, a pathetic and terrible excuse for one that gave me no pleasure and left me feeling guilty and in need of punishment.

I did not think I would care that I failed, seeing as I had thought this would all be self imposed denial until my Husband worked it all through in his head. He did give me his opinion on what he wanted, but nothing firm and commanding as of yet to really set me in place. I still feel as though it is self imposed but with him watching over.

So basically I am to bring myself to the edge of orgasm and then hold it there without cumming for five minutes. I am only to do this every three hours, no touching at all for the rest of the time. When we have sex, he fucks me like normal only I am hyper sensitive and even more horny than usual. He cums and I lay there in a dripping pile of wetness and blissful frustration.

Yesterday was wonderful, I felt successful because I had not cum at all even though I was edging myself all through the day. It got to the point where my poor princess parts really needed a break. I had rubbed so much they hurt. I guess this is why no touching between my given task every three hours.

I felt so close to my husband though, I felt controlled and blissful. Serene and calm. I was happy to give him pleasure because I did not at all need to worry about my own. I spent an hour sucking his cock while we watched TV, and I could have kept going longer. I love the way he told me to stop talking by taking my head and shoving it back down on him when I paused to talk about TV or something else that was on my mind. It made me feel owned, like I was his. Possessed like I wanted all along.

Then he took me into his arms and enjoyed using my cunt for awhile, slowly and steadily. It was so very hard to remember I could not cum. He even surprised me and commanded that he use my arse, this was the first time he has taken my arse without my permission first. It was fucking fantastic and felt amazing. Seeing as I could not touch my clit, it was a little more uncomfortable than usual, as anal is hard to do without direct stimulation. But here I am hoping that I will have it again tonight!

After he fucked me, I found myself in a very blissful and serene state. Insanely lovey, like a cat on heat. I wanted to cuddle and kiss him, rub up against him. Of course there is nothing in the world I wanted more than his cock in some way shape or form. It was beautiful and made me so very grateful that I had given up my orgasms in return for this.

Today it was more difficult. I woke up and brought myself close to cumming, then I edged for the 5 mins I was told. I wanted to cum quite a bit more this time around, and I found my mind thinking that maybe I just should... I didn't though, I stuck with it and now here I am. I am aching to touch but not letting myself until my three hours comes around again. My pussy has been tingling and wet non stop since then, desperate for touch and release all ready. I need to do something to get my mind off it. God, even my breasts and nipples feel more sensitive... Some epic psychological shit going on here.

I can't wait for this weekend when I should hopefully get some set rules and a stern talking too or letter about these things. I feel like my submission is slipping a little, with all things. Yoga, Getting out of bed... No orgasms is going to take an insane amount of will power soon and I know there is no way I can do it without his command.

I need to feel like there is literally no option for me, I am not allowed to cum without his consent and that is fucking final. I don't want to feel like I can get away with it, like its not that big a deal or like I have a choice in there somewhere. I want it to be completely concrete. I want real punishments if I fuck up. Because as I said, I can't do it alone and sooner or later I am going to slip without regular maintenance and control.

This maintenance doesn't have to be super epic, but it has to be something and it has to be firm. I can't wait for this weekend because it sounds like I am going to get exactly that and I am just hoping that I can even last that long. I don't want to lose all that I have worked for because of my own lack of will power and self motivation... I am very grateful that I have my husbands help, because without him I would not have even managed to get this far.