What is expected of a Submissive?
I am glad you asked...
“Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” ― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity
A submissive willingly gives up all control over certain things, or even sometimes everything for a set amount of time. This time period could be 24/7 or just during scenes for an hour or so. She gives up control of her body, her actions, and her desires. She always puts her Dominant first. She makes sure that Her Dominant is happy and has everything that he needs.
Keep in mind, although the Submissive is giving all of this up, the Dominant cares JUST as much about the Submissive's needs and desires, he just looks after her in a different way.
The Submissive will do everything and anything that is asked of her. If she is asked to do all the house work, then she will. If she is asked to undress and stand outside for all too see, then she will. He or belongs to the Dominant; is owned by the Dominant or has given herself to the Dominant. Keep in mind, that all of this is purely consensual and will have been agreed upon by both parties beforehand and that many different D/s couples look at their relationship in different ways.
“He needed the hand on his shoulder, the kiss to his temple and the hot, ragged breath of his Master over his face.”
― Casey K. Cox
Here are some quick pointers for you.
♥ A submissive
gains pleasure from pleasing her Dominant. This is her reason for existing.
This does not mean that her needs and desires are ignored, just that his
always come first.
♥ A submissive
will do anything and everything asked of her so long as it was agreed upon and
not a hard limit. He or she will not question and she will not say no unless
safe-wording. He or she will enjoy whatever tasks is given, or at least respect
them.
♥ A submissive
will take care of ALL of his or her Dominant's needs. They will be done when
asked and without hesitation, generally. (Some sub's are learning and like to
test limits.)
♥ A submissive
is to be trained as her Dominant sees fit. He or she is shaped
and molded to reach their full and beautiful
potential. He or she learns and grows like a rose. These things do not
happen over night. Your submissive is a human being that requires guidance.
♥ A submissive
takes all of his or her pleasure from serving; although he or she
does not require praise or reward, it is still expected you give these things
freely unless it goes against your dynamic. But his or her main reward is the
joy felt falling asleep knowing that the Dominant is happy.
♥ A Submissive
will do everything they can to please. He or she will dress a certain way, walk
a certain way and sit a certain way. Perhaps even eat what they are told, sleep
when told and pee when told. A Submissive will do her hair and make-up exactly
as He wants it. She is completely his. He is first in everything.
♥ A submissive
is strong. They need to be. He or she values themselves, and respects
their mind and body. They takes care of themselves, and are always honest.
He or she shares his or her heart and soul with the Dominant, striving to hold
absolutely nothing back.
Note: Please remember, it takes time to reach this point. The Dominant must bring this out in the sub missives soul, nurture and coax it until he or she realizes the point of their nature as a nurturing, caring and beautiful creature with an over whelming desire to server one of worth.
Keep in mind
Although all of these things are what a submissive is, a new submissive will quite likely be terrible at all of them.
To fully accept that your partner knows what is best in all situations… Well that could be seen as a near impossible task for most. It is not pretend, it is truly accepting and surrendering to the fact that you are letting someone else make all the decisions, even when you think you know what is right. Of course you share your views, but in the end the choice is not up to the submissive. Though your Dominant will always respect, listen to and consider your views.
Put yourself in that position for a moment, think about how hard that is. For this reason, Submissive's deserve massive respect for being able to do that for you. It is they greatest gift that can be given.
Dominant's also deserve massive respect for being able to take control and responsibility of every feeling, desire and thought that his submissive has in the best and most caring way possible. Enough of that, this post is for sub's, Dom's you get your chance later.
It is always an equal relationship.
I need to make it very clear. A Submissive is in no way getting the raw end of the bargain. The Dominant has to work just as hard and both get something awesome out of it. She gets love, protection, and support. He gets constant service, his desires satisfied, and his word as law.
It is VERY much 50/50 and I hope you never think otherwise. The power exchange is in many ways an illusion. The submissive is consenting and she does have say over what happens to her. This is D/s, not abuse.
Lazy is not an option in a D/s relationship.
Neither member can afford to be lazy when it comes to a D/s relationship and neither member can put anything before their partner. (Save obvious things like... Death or something.) You always need to be making sure that your other half is content and consenting to everything that is going on. Trust must be built and maintained consistently, and together you keep setting the foundations for a strong relationship for the rest of your years.
Last but not least.
Your submissive is a beautiful and strong person. Someone who thrives off of helping and supporting others, someone who loves to please. They deserve so much respect and love, always treat them well and they will do the same for you.
He or she is a wild flower, just waiting for the right combination of water and sunshine to make him or her bloom. Find your balance and you will have found something incredible. Harmony and joy with each other, forever.
Please note: This is not expected from the start or while learning, just like complete Dominance and submission both require time to learn, it is not something that will happen right away for either.
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