• Having me edge myself routinely. 
• Telling me you are using me when we fuck and I don't cum.
• Tell me the reasons why you are using me. Examples: Training me, teaching me obedience, telling me that I am nothing but a fuck doll, telling me my pleasure is not important, teaching me selflessness. Because you enjoy it. Because I am a doll now, and dolls are made to be used etc.
• Having me edge while you watch.
• Teasing me with it, getting my hopes up. Telling me I can cum tonight if I do something and then saying no. Why? Because I am your fuck doll and I need to learn to accept what you say as law.
• Making a point to get me frustrated and close only to deny me yourself again and again.
• Making me tell you all the reasons why I can't cum.
• Making me tell you what I am, or am becoming. Fuck doll, pet, slave, whore, slut, brainless etc.
• Making me repeat these things in a mantra until it burns into my mind.
• Having me edge myself in humiliating or degrading ways. Examples: Rubbing myself up against the edge of the couch, chair, rubbish bin, toilet, shower, pillow, cushion, teddy bear, your boot, your leg.
• Restricting me from touching myself all together for periods of time.
• Tell me I may only edge with something humiliating or degrading for a set period of time. Example: Vegetables, household tools, whatever.
• Chaining my hands to a collar so that I can do normal tasks, but not reach my cunt to touch it.
• Chastity, no touching at all. Getting me a chastity belt or piercings to keep my cunt locked shut.
• Telling me that my arse and mouth are all that will be used for a set amount of time.
• Telling me the reasons why my arse and mouth will only be used. Because my pleasure is not important in this training. Because my mouth hole is a fuck hole, not for talking. Because my arse feels better for you and my cunt is for lube only this week etc.
• Gagging me for set amounts of time.
• Gagging me while you use me.
• Gagging me for a few days and only taking the gag out to eat or suck cock.
• Telling me why this is happening, why you are training me this way. Examples: To teach me what my mouth hole is for. To teach me that my thoughts do not matter, only doing as told. To teach me that I am useful and happiest when my holes are stuffed full.
• Training me to stay completely still and silent while you use all my holes.
• Training me to stay in whatever position you put me in, just like a doll.
• Using an open mouth gag to hold my mouth open while you fuck and use it.
• Teaching me to offer my mouth to you daily when you get home from work.
• Teaching me to present my hole of choice to you to fuck in whichever way you please when asked.
• Inspecting me in a way that is objectifying, treating me as property that must be clean and ready for use.
• Having me crawl for set periods of time.
• Using me as a table to set your drinks on for set periods of time.
• Having me fetch you things from around the house on my hands and knees.
• Making me thank you after such acts. Telling me why they are happening. Examples: To teach me to enjoy everything you have to offer. To teach me blind obedience, to make me humble and teach humility. To make me submissive and more of a whore. To help me become a better slave, doll, whore, pet etc. Because you enjoy watching it happen and that is what matters.
• Telling me why you are doing everything you do in great detail, because this is the mental side and it is what does it for me. I can't learn, submit or enjoy unless this happens.
• Making me clean the house in erotic, sexual, humiliating or degrading ways. Example: On my hands and knees, with a scrubbing brush in my mouth. Not allowed to use hands. Must be wearing butt plug. Husband touching me and fingering my holes while I clean. Hands chained to make it harder. Slutty sexy outfits. Gagged completely. 
• Have me work out and exercise my body in sexual, erotic, humiliating or degrading ways. Examples: Push-ups while deep throating dildo. Squats while fucking dildo. Crunches while sucking your cock.
• Calling me by a pet name. A name that represents who I am as a submissive.
• Letting me call you a name that represents you as a Dominant.
• Calling me dirty degrading name during sex.
• Have me sit at your feet and pet me. Stroke my hair, treat me like a little kitten or puppy.

•         Stuff her panties in her mouth!
•         Buy a Ball Gag, they are cheap!
•         Spider Gags to hold his/her mouth open
•         Duct tape! (Be careful)
•         Rope, Scarfs, length of Fabric with a knot for in the mouth
•         Funnel Gags
•         Pacifier
•         Penis Gag

•            Floggers, whips, canes, blunt knives, pin wheels.
•            Dog beds (for sleep at your feet or on the floor), dog bowls or dog leads.
•            DILDOS!!! Things that vibrate! How better for you to punish with pleasure.
•            Anything that brings on a head-space. (Petplay, Little space, Slave Space.)

Spanking, Oh my! Where do I start?

Handy chart is handy! Much love from all us visual learners.

Let's talk positions

Slow and steady wins the race

Not only does your submissive's skin and muscles require a little warm up, but so does his/her mind. You want him/her to slip gently into a nice fuzzy head-space, one where they are relaxed and comfortable, not tense and anxious. (Of course a little tension and anxiety may be expected, but this is just another reason a good warm up is of utmost importance.)

Starting with your submissive fully clothed before slowly peeling off layers can be a good way to warm him/her up. You can also just start with nice, gentle loving spanking until you feel he/she is ready to receive harder swats.

Paddles, canes, floggers and more, oh my!

There are so many wonderful toys and objects you can use to create over whelming pleasure or perhaps swift punishment for your submissive. But you need to remember that not all toys or objects cause the same sensation. 

A spanking with a firm hand can be perfect for bonding and pleasure, and your submissive may be able to handle quite firm swats, however when you switch to a hairbrush you may find that he or she cannot handle this sensation in the slightest.

Always pay close attention to the reactions of your submissive, and remember to build up slow and steady, especially when trying out new toys.

Different toys will cause different marks and bruises on your submissive's skin. The chart below should help you find out which is which and find something suitable for you.

The point is: Emotional, spiritual and physical release... Or a good punishment.

A good spanking has so many benefits. Sometimes you may find your submissive's emotions become a little too much for he or she to handle, or perhaps he or she had a stressful day and need something to make it all go away.

This is where a good spanking comes in handy. Do not be afraid of continuing your spanking until the submissive has nothing left to give and is in tears. This may be tears from the pain, but even more likely they are tears of emotional release. We all need a little release from time to time.

Remember, your safe-word is key. She may scream "No, Sir! Stop!" But some submissive's just enjoy playing around with head spaces of non-consent, even when they are fully consenting. Always watch her body language, but do not be afraid to end your session with tears.

If your spanking session was to teach a lesson or enforce a rule, then you end the session still in much the same way. Once he or she has learnt something from their experience and they are ready to remember this lesson much better next time around.

Check out my post on punishment spanking for more need to know information.

Cuddles and lovey times. - Aftercare.

The most important part, aftercare. Always look after your submissive. Always make sure he or she is cared for with all of the love and attention you can muster.

There is no excuse for missing or ignoring aftercare, it is by far the most important finisher for any scene, no matter how small. Her emotional, spiritual and perhaps even physical well-being depends on it.

Check that she is okay, give her lots of soft gentle touches, pick her up and place her down on the bed with her favorite blanket and teddy.

Whip out the lotion and get to work giving her or his skin a warm and gentle massage, making sure that he or she is comfortable and feeling safe in your care.

Take this moment to perhaps talk about what happened, check her feelings and maybe express yours. Of course your submissive may still be in a head-space, in which case you should wait a little longer until she is ready to speak.

Now is also a good time to have a snack for both of you, something light and small to regain a little lost energy and help to ground your energy.

Take this time to love one another, deeply and truly.

“When his hand came down across my bottom the first time I thought I was going to die. But the pain passed, transmuted as if my some alchemical wizardry, and for a moment I experienced a surreal satisfaction in being bent over in this way without rights or choices, past or future. In pain you are living in the present and as the pain passes there is pleasure from having endured the pain.” ― Chloe Thurlow, Being a Girl

Pictures from this website. 

Don't hurt me, Daddy! I mean... Harder, please!

So you want to try Punishment Spanking?

The basics of Punishment Spanking are as follows.

“I want to spank you, but also want to know you want it. I need to hear it sweetheart, tell me you deserve it…”  ― Felicity Brandon, Friday's Lesson

Remember Dominants, It's all in the head!

•         Call him/her names! (BAD boy/girl, dirty little whore, disobedient little slut, etc.)
•         Let him/her know who owns him/her. (How DARE you disobey me! Do you care THAT little for your –Husband/Sir/Master/Owner/etc.)
•         Make him/her feel possessed. (You are MY slave/toy/Etc. Why are you disobeying me. I OWN you and you WILL do as I say, or you WILL be punished again!)
•        Make him/her come to you for the punishments. Make her hand you the tools and clean them after.
•        Make him/her thank you after every blow.
•        Make him/her count each blow.
•        Make him/her knee before you and ask you to punish her.
•        Remember even though you may be cruel now, you are doing it because you love her. Make sure you let him/her know this too!
•       Make him/her scream, beg, cry or whimper! If he/she is not doing any of these, then your spanking may not have been effective at all!