Spanking: Tips and Techniques

Spanking, Oh my! Where do I start?

Spanking should be done on the areas of the buttocks and thighs that are nicely padded with a good amount of muscle and fat. This is to make sure you avoid damaging skin, hurting areas that are close to the bone or even your submissive's kidneys.

You want to focus the majority of your attention on the fleshy part of your submissive's buttocks, give the section directly under the curve of the buttock a nice amount of attention, and perhaps lightly swat his/her upper thighs.

Handy chart is handy! Much love from all us visual learners.

Let's talk positions

Oh there are so many delicious options for you to choose from, each of which has different benefits and drawbacks. 

Generally the more relaxed the muscle, the less it is going to hurt. However, tense muscle will prove quite a bit harder for your submissive to handle. 

For example: The Diaper position requires that your submissive hold his or her legs straight up in the air for a period of time. Depending on how fit and flexible he/she is, the task of holding your legs up in this way can be bad enough without the added sensation from a switch or paddle.

OTK or Over the Knee can prove relaxing and gentle, and is good when you are after a caring and comforting vibe while you spank. The same can be done laying on the bed relaxed, but kneeling on the bed brings back that same issue of muscle tension.

However you do it, make sure to read your submissive to see how he/she feels in this position. Is she comfortable? Is his body stressed in a way that could make your swats extra painful?

Slow and steady wins the race

Not only does your submissive's skin and muscles require a little warm up, but so does his/her mind. You want him/her to slip gently into a nice fuzzy head-space, one where they are relaxed and comfortable, not tense and anxious. (Of course a little tension and anxiety may be expected, but this is just another reason a good warm up is of utmost importance.)

Starting with your submissive fully clothed before slowly peeling off layers can be a good way to warm him/her up. You can also just start with nice, gentle loving spanking until you feel he/she is ready to receive harder swats.

Paddles, canes, floggers and more, oh my!

There are so many wonderful toys and objects you can use to create over whelming pleasure or perhaps swift punishment for your submissive. But you need to remember that not all toys or objects cause the same sensation. 

A spanking with a firm hand can be perfect for bonding and pleasure, and your submissive may be able to handle quite firm swats, however when you switch to a hairbrush you may find that he or she cannot handle this sensation in the slightest.

Always pay close attention to the reactions of your submissive, and remember to build up slow and steady, especially when trying out new toys.

Different toys will cause different marks and bruises on your submissive's skin. The chart below should help you find out which is which and find something suitable for you.

The point is: Emotional, spiritual and physical release... Or a good punishment.

A good spanking has so many benefits. Sometimes you may find your submissive's emotions become a little too much for he or she to handle, or perhaps he or she had a stressful day and need something to make it all go away.

This is where a good spanking comes in handy. Do not be afraid of continuing your spanking until the submissive has nothing left to give and is in tears. This may be tears from the pain, but even more likely they are tears of emotional release. We all need a little release from time to time.

Remember, your safe-word is key. She may scream "No, Sir! Stop!" But some submissive's just enjoy playing around with head spaces of non-consent, even when they are fully consenting. Always watch her body language, but do not be afraid to end your session with tears.

If your spanking session was to teach a lesson or enforce a rule, then you end the session still in much the same way. Once he or she has learnt something from their experience and they are ready to remember this lesson much better next time around.

Check out my post on punishment spanking for more need to know information.

Cuddles and lovey times. - Aftercare.

The most important part, aftercare. Always look after your submissive. Always make sure he or she is cared for with all of the love and attention you can muster.

There is no excuse for missing or ignoring aftercare, it is by far the most important finisher for any scene, no matter how small. Her emotional, spiritual and perhaps even physical well-being depends on it.

Check that she is okay, give her lots of soft gentle touches, pick her up and place her down on the bed with her favorite blanket and teddy.

Whip out the lotion and get to work giving her or his skin a warm and gentle massage, making sure that he or she is comfortable and feeling safe in your care.

Take this moment to perhaps talk about what happened, check her feelings and maybe express yours. Of course your submissive may still be in a head-space, in which case you should wait a little longer until she is ready to speak.

Now is also a good time to have a snack for both of you, something light and small to regain a little lost energy and help to ground your energy.

Take this time to love one another, deeply and truly.

“When his hand came down across my bottom the first time I thought I was going to die. But the pain passed, transmuted as if my some alchemical wizardry, and for a moment I experienced a surreal satisfaction in being bent over in this way without rights or choices, past or future. In pain you are living in the present and as the pain passes there is pleasure from having endured the pain.” ― Chloe ThurlowBeing a Girl

Pictures from this website. 

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